I’ve been exceptionally frustrated as of late, because while I keep wanting to write and getting ideas, I just can’t seem to do it. And it’s not a matter of “not finding the time” because let’s be honest, unemployment provides you with ample time. I sit down to write and I can’t stay focused, I can’t think ahead, and I hate everything that I produce. I once again restarted my various fanfiction ideas and got a measly few hundred words written for my Buffy-verse idea, and I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it. But I can’t think of anything else, and every time I try my mind just goes blank.

Add to this that my lack of writing has me emotionally frazzled- writing has always been one of my most successful methods of managing my mood, depression and stress, and without it everything is starting to pile up. Which probably just adds to my inability to write lately.

I don’t know what to do, and it’s really starting to bother me.

One is that I’m gutting my room and my possessions, and then rearranging. I have too much stuff and not that much space, and I’m tired of it. I’m hoping once it’s all done I’ll be able to focus better instead of my mind wandering off to all the clutter that surrounds me.

The other main reason is that I’m waiting for my science book to come in. I ordered a textbook so I can learn about plate tectonics and weather patterns and ocean currents so I can build a scientifically plausible world, and so I’ll know what areas earthquakes will be common in and so on and so forth. I’ll be following the cultures and people of this fictional planet for about 5,000 years of human history over the course of my novels, so getting the planet right is kind of important.

Hopefully I’ll have something interesting to talk about soonish!

Autumn // Kat

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Goal 3 is already a big fat failure, and while I’m really okay with, it’s still a bit of a downer on the motivation. I know what part of the problem is, too- I’m letting the period stuff get in the way. There’s research that needs to be done for the piece to feel at least semi-authentic, and while it’s not as much as I would need for, say, a novel, it’s still enough that I’ve been putting it off. I think I’ve got a plan to work it out- I’m going to post over at Little Details, a great resource for writers over at livejournal, and while I’m getting recommendations I’ll also work on hammering out some scenes and figuring out what details need to be revealed in each. Getting three pages of brainstorming (for any creative project, not just this one) is another one of the things on my schedule, though I haven’t decided whether I want it to be a column A priority or column B.

I may start posting some of my actual brainstorming and rough draft pieces in password protected entries- if you’d like to offer some constructive crit on any of my projects, or help me bash my way through a brainstorming wall, just let me know in a comment.

I think that’s all the news for now!

Autumn // Kat

And that one page is a script page, not prose like I had intended; I got some inspiration on an old script idea and decided to run with it. It doesn’t have a name, yet, which is irritating the crap out of me. I’ve gotten positive feedback on the idea from just about everyone, which is really encouraging. I just need to sit down and hammer out the plot, and then I’ll go through and write all the scenes and dialogue, and after that I’ll adjust and insert period appropriate stuff (it’s set in 1926) and then I’ll clean up the dialogue, and pass it off to a few theater friends to see what I need to do next.

I’m not sure how my other April goal of establishing a writing habit will go this month; I’m trying to create a routine for my schoolwork and my socialization and everything, and I think it’ll probably take more than a month to hammer out and get accustomed to. I’m certainly going to do my best, though.

I think that’s all the relevant news for now!

Autumn // Kat